All clapbacks are bloops but not all bloops are clapbacks. I say it’s time bloops get their moment to shine.
Bravo / Via buzzfeed.com
Happy Bloop History Month, everyone! What is Bloop History Month, you ask, beautiful reader? Well, it's a celebration of bloops - those onomatopoetic moments when you witness or read a response so sharp, all you can utter is "bloop". Much like it's rhetorical counterpart, the clapback, the bloop often takes the form of a viciously accute comeback. But it is not necessarily always the case. In fact, a bloop can arise simply from a really well articulated observation or a casual aside in conversation. Basically, all clapbacks are bloops but not all bloops are clapbacks. Got it?
Isn't Bloop History Month just a random holiday you made up, you ask? To which I can only respond, yes, my beloved reader, you are correct. But aren't they all???
I say it's time we celebrate the figures, large and small, who have bequeathed great bloops upon our nation. A bloop can come from the pontification of historical figures like W.E.B Dubois or the internet ephemera of some rando on Tumblr and I say it's time we remember, not all heroes wear capes.
Now follow me as we frolic through some historic and contemporary examples throughout bloop history:
This incredible, historical bloop from Frederick Douglass in response to people's complaints about his criticism of religion (1817):
"What I have said respecting and against religion, I mean strictly to apply to the slaveholding religion of this land, and with no possible reference to Christianity proper; for, between the Christianity of this land, and the Christianity of Christ, I recognize the widest possible difference—so wide, that to receive the one as good, pure, and holy, is of necessity to reject the other as bad, corrupt, and wicked. To be the friend of the one, is of necessity to be the enemy of the other. I love the pure, peaceable, and impartial Christianity of Christ: I therefore hate the corrupt, slaveholding, women-whipping, cradle-plundering, partial and hypocritical Christianity of this land. Indeed, I can see no reason, but the most deceitful one, for calling the religion of this land Christianity."
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That time W.E.B. DuBois did the Heisman on 'em (1895):
"The honor, I assure you, was Harvard's." –W.E.B. Du Bois, upon being congratulated for being the first African American to earn a PhD from Harvard.
Hulton Archive / C M Battey / Getty Images
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