“I’ll just quit next week, no biggie.”
1. I need to quit coffee.
2. I'm spending waaaay too much money on it.
3. At least 20 bucks a week.
4. That's, like, a thousand bucks a year.
6. But it tastes so goooood.
7. I'll just quit next week, no biggie.
8. I do have trouble sleeping, though.
9. Maybe quitting will help me sleep better?
10. If I sleep better, I won't need coffee!
11. I could FINALLY avoid the dreaded coffee shits.
12. Coffee shits are the worst. Well, after beer shits.
13. I won't have to sweat during meetings while I hold it in.
14. OK, maybe I CAN quit.
15. I'll quit TOMORROW.
16. ~Today~ is the day I quit.
17. I already feel GREAT, this isn't hard at all.
18. Why must today be the day ALL my coworkers want to get coffee?
19. Don't be a dick, maybe you should go.
20. You can just get a small black coffee.
21. Hmm… maybe hot chocolate?
22. But everyone will think you're 11 years old.
23. Who cares what they think!!!
24. I do.
25. Is that a headache?
26. Eh, it'll go away.
27. Who put my head INTO A VICE?
28. Just have a sip of coffee and it'll be all better.
29. NO! Power through it.
30. Jesus, I'm a yawning machine.
31. Why is it so hard to poop now?
32. Why is it so hard to get work done?
33. Why is everyone so FUCKING ANNOYING today?!
34. Oh, look, everyone is going to get coffee without me.
35. Pretend you don't wanna go, pretend you don't wanna go.
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